Even in Death
by Impersonating-an-entity
Summary: Song fic to Evanescence's Even in Death from the album Origin. JinXTouya, Touya's POV. rated for shonenai, death.


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Warnings: shonen-ai.... I think that's actually it! BR BR BR 

Disclaimers: I don't own the song ((evanescence)), the poem 'Annabel Lee' ((Edgar Allan Poe, and yes, it is misquoted, on purpose)) or Yu Yu Hakusho ((idk who all owns it...)) BR BR HR BR BR 

Look around us, Jin. I know you can't be dead, Jin. No one will give me one good reason to prove you're dead. You can't be dead. I won't LET you be dead, Jin. I know you are still here, here with me. You can't leave me. And I won't leave you. Ever. I swear it, Jin. I swear it by everything I hold dear. Which includes you, by the way. You can't leave me, Jin. I see your shadow there, skimming along the ground while you fly above me. See? Just like always, you fly so energetically, and, as always, your shadow's path is erratic, twisting, somewhat obscured by the shadows of the trees. The moon is full, it's light is bright, and almost tangible. I feel like the moonbeams cloak me in their light. And now, I have my light. But the light is nothing if I can't share it with you. I can almost taste the moonlight-it is cool, fresh, and faintly sweet. Just like you. The moonlight makes a path for me. It guides me from the camp the others have set up to the soft brown heap where you have been buried. How could they bury you like this? I have to get you out! We must be together! BR BR 

_ BR I Give me a reason to believe BR _

_that you're gone BR _

_I see your shadow so I know BR _

_they're all wrong BR _

_moon light on the soft brown earth; BR _

_it leads me to where you lay /I BR _

BR BR 

How could they do this to you? Reisho, and Bakken, and Ruka. They took you. Took you and left you in a heap of Reisho's dirty element of choice. Beneath the mud and clay and grime is no place for a lively wind master, like you. But I'll free you, Jin. We'll go, somewhere far away from dirt and sweat and bondage. Far from Reisho and Bakken and Ruka. I'll take you with me; we'll go where we belong. I know a place we can stay; a place of snow and wind and a soft light with subtle warmth. We'll go to the ningenkai, and be far away. But if we don't go... I'll always stay with you, Jin. No matter where we go. I'll stay with you forever. Now I understand. I couldn't hear you before; you spoke so quietly. You never speak quietly. And I was crying so hard. I thought you were dieing. But, of course that's not true. But you said, so softly, to me, "Even in death, our love goes on." Didn't you? It's true. I love you so much, Jin. We'll never die, Jin. We'll never die. BR BR 

_ BR I they took you away from me BR _

_but now I'm taking you home BR _

_I will stay here forever here with you, BR _

_Now I know, BR _

_the softly spoken words you gave me, BR _

_even in death our love goes on /I BR _

BR BR Reisho, Bakken, and Ruka look at me strangely. They've told me, you know. They say you're dead. They tell me I've gone insane. They say it is foolish to love one dead and buried. Ruka even put binds on me, when they realized I wouldn't leave the site of your burial. They dragged me along with them for a time, but I broke free. We can't leave you like that! I can't leave you like that... No one... Nothing... NO ONE DAMNIT! Will keep me from you! I WON'T BE SEPARATED FROM YOU! NO BONDS WILL HOLD ME! Ruka's chains won't hold me, THEY CAN'T STOP ME FROM HAVING YOU! They say I'm crazy, insane... Ruka, Bakken and Reisho... But I escaped, and I've come back for you. They say you're dead. They've encrypted you, true, but you're not dead. You can't be dead, Jin. I need you, love you, too much, for you to be dead. Even if you are, death can't even tear us apart. Nothing can tear us apart. I'll never leave you. No one, no thing, can ever tear me from you. Didn't a ningen poet once write, "And nothing can ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee?" We are the same. Nothing can take me from you; nothing can ever take you from me. No bind, nor human, nor demon, nor devil, nor god shall stay us from each other. I love you, Jin. I love you so much. My beautiful wind. My divine wind. My kamikaze. BR BR 

_ BR I Some say I'm crazy BR _

_for my love, mm my love BR _

_But no bonds can hold me BR _

_from the side of my love /I BR _

BR BR But they still don't understand. They don't realize this. They don't see you can't leave me. They don't see that we can never be torn one from the other. They don't hear you. But I do. You're talking to me, singing to me. You're telling me how much you want to go to that place for us I found in the ningenkai. You're telling me how wonderful it will be for us to finally be allowed to be alone together. You're singing to me. You don't sing often, except drinking songs. But sometimes, before or after we make love, sometimes you would sing to me. It's remarkable, that you talk so fast, yet when you sing... You can sing slowly, and that soft, Irish accent becomes so warm and rich and soothing. It's smooth and thick and subtly sweet; it's like chocolate. I love when you sing to me, like now. I'll stay with you forever, my kamikaze. Now I know what you said. And I whisper it back to you. You're lying in the ground I dug up; there's dirt on your face and clothes, all over, in fact. And I wipe your face clean, and lie next to you in the small earth. You're just sleeping, I'm sure. I lie next to you, and whisper back those words you gave me in a soft, choking gasp. You were so sick. You were so sick when you said it. We thought you were dieing, and you said it to me, so I would know, no matter what, that I had your love. They think you're dead, but I know you're not. You're just tired and sleeping. And now, I whisper back those desperate words. "Even in death, our love goes on." But I add, for there's more to say. "But we'll never die, Jin. We'll live together forever." I'm crying quietly, just two tears running slowly down my cheeks, freezing near the lower half of my face. "Jin, I love you. I can't love you anymore. I can't love you anymore than I already do. You have all my heart, all my soul. 'And nothing can ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee.' You're my Annabel Lee, Jin. Nothing will tear us apart." BR BR 

_ BR I They don't know you can't leave me BR _

_they don't hear you singing to me BR _

_I will stay here forever here with you, BR _

_Now I know, BR _

_the softly spoken words you gave me, BR _

_even in death our love goes on, BR _

_and I can't love you anymore than I do, oh /I BR _

BR BR I'll take you, Jin. We'll go to that place of ice and snow and wind and light. And if we don't, it doesn't matter. I won't leave you. If we can't go, I won't go alone. If you can't come, then we'll stay here. Slowly, I sit up, and I pull myself from the false grave. Then I pull you out too. Why are you so stiff, my love, my kamikaze? Your skin is so pale; it almost seems tinged blue. Surely it is the glint of the moon on your skin, and nothing more. It must be the way of the light of the moon. I'm picking you up now, and I take you away. The going is slow, since you're so tired. You can't fly, and I have to carry you. I make a sort of sling and lash you to it gently, so I can drag you. Slowly, we come to the place I know. Finally, we're home. We're where we belong. We're home, at the place of ice and wind and light. But we already found that place, didn't we? It's in each other's hearts; we find the light and the complimentary element. It is our blizzard of light. I lie you down in the snow, and next to you I lie down as well. You look cold. I pull my clothes off and wrap you in them. I don't need them. My element is ice; the cold is no matter to me. Your lips are still numbing blue. I kiss them, as though to warm them. You taste... strange... different than normal. I don't understand it, Jin. I lie back down next to you, holding you tightly in my arms. I'll never let go. It's getting cold though. The wind blows blankets of snow over us, cold at first, but they insulate us, and it begins to warm, slightly. I still shiver, but then I feel myself still, and then go numb. But I still feel you in my grasp. You're cold though. You used to always be warm despite your winds. I can't feel much anymore. All I can feel is my love for you. And I can't have anymore love for you; that love keeps me warm. That love is all I ever need. We'll be together forever. My body is frozen, tightly holding yours; my head rests on your shoulder for eternities. Ningens; in their wedding vows they pledge love 'till death do us part.' But even in death, we will never part, and even in death, our love goes on. And though our lips are frozen shut and blue, I can hear you say that to me, and I whisper it back, once again. BR BR 

_ BR I I will stay forever here with you, BR _

_Now I know, BR _

_the softly spoken words you gave me, BR _

_even in death our love goes on BR _

_and I can't love you anymore than I do. /I BR _

BR BR I will wait forever. But there's no need. For now our souls lie together in the Reikai, and Koenma has seen fit not to part us. Not that he could, if he wanted. And our bodies lie frozen in a place of wind and snow and light, together forever. And you and Botan tell me that you were always with me. And I say of course, you were just asleep. You try to tell me Reisho and Bakken and Ruka were right; you were dead, but I just shake my head. And besides, what does it matter if you were dead or alive, as long as you were there? It doesn't matter, we're together, and you sing to me again. You're voice, your face, your love, your soul... You're so beautiful. I would wait forever for you, if needed. I wait, frozen next to you, forever in the ningenkai. And here in the Reikai, I wait, warm in your arms, forever. I will wait with you forever. And when all the worlds end and die, and there is nothing, I will wait with you, and we'll start the worlds over again, and we will give them light and love. I will wait like this; I will wait with you, forever. I will wait like this; I will wait with you, even beyond the end of eternity. I won't leave you with the end of eternity. I will stay, forever. 'Nothing can ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee.' You're my Annabel Lee, Jin. You're my kamikaze. We'll wait, together. BR BR 

BR I And I will wait like this forever /I BR BR BR 

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